i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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