Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
