He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
