I'm going to jail i love you
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
