splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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