yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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