i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were trust falling into bushes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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