You smell like a Billy Joel song
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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