I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she pinky promised me she was 18
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
