Who did Billy Mays play for?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
