what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
