Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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