6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
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I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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