I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
