seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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