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I hate your face
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
a search helicopter?!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize