It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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