you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
