I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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