3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
