I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize