and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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