Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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