I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
