His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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