I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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