I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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