I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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