I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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