i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.