the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??