Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
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I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty