belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him