I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order