He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions