JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
