so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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