that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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