Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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