I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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