We're like a lot better than the average bears
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
