all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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