Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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