Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
