I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
