I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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