Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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