i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We need a shit load of segways right now
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
