NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
