i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
