If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm at about main and main street
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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