Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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