We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
