In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
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It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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