Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's blow job season.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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