I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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