If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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