No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
why is half of my head shaved?
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