Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
