For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
