Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
