I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
