bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Damn victory sex feels great
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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